veraciouskim

1782

116

Long beach, United states
29
Sunday 12 May 1996

Veraciouskim

I don't know about you but I think I'm hilarious

Veraciouskim -

Veraciouskim

lovers5201

coolkidont...

BrigitteKo...

Tepee29

Y0UI34574R...

chewsef

tin_cup

michaelm12...

Mons_fml

onlytimewi...

idkwyatt

tyler530

chewsef

tin_cup

dk1991

live_307

Veraciouskim

thewrittenrebel - 28/10/2014 07:40 - South Africa - Bellville

Today, my boss asked about the mass of deep scratches on my arm. I lied and told him it happened while I was trying to save my cat from a tree. Truth is, my cat is a sadistic asshole who stalks me and mauls me whenever he can. FML

36 381

5 893

So romantic

Anonymous - 30/12/2012 23:58 - United States - Denver

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me with the prettiest, most simple ring I have ever seen. I called my sister to tell her the good news, and her response was, "I know. He had me steal the ring from Claire's." FML

45 982

4 066

Dog_Lover - 18/12/2012 15:30 - Canada - Montreal

Today, a friend informed me that my dog's name means "penis" in Greek. I live in a predominantly Greek neighbourhood, and apparently I've been screaming for "dong" every evening for the past 3 years. No wonder they don't talk to me much. FML

35 756

9 715

almostkilledmyself - 29/12/2012 07:30 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, I realized something: when other people are drunk, they dance around and make out with people. When I'm drunk, I apparently think it's a great idea to chew on electrical cords. FML

19 235

32 331

Bajar - 18/12/2012 19:53 - Australia

Today, while at the airport waiting for my flight, I sat down next to a mother and her son. As I pulled out a water bottle, she leaned over to her son and said, "Promise me you will never do what the man next to you just did." I have no idea what the hell I did wrong. FML

42 364

4 050

Bajar

Bajar 1

mercredi 19 décembre 2012 7:01

Hey all, OP here. To clarify a few things: it was at the airport lounge, the mother and son had a double couch together and I had a single chair next to the son. The water bottle was disposable and on a clearly visible pocket in my backpack. I still have no idea what I did wrong.