keishacooper20

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Infiltrator4444 - 26/07/2012 01:11 - United States - Lexington

Today, out of curiosity, I measured the length of my penis whilst in the shower. A couple of hours later, my father called me downstairs to show me something. Turns out I left the ruler on top of the shower tree. He won't stop laughing. FML

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Infiltrator4444

Infiltrator4444 6

jeudi 26 juillet 2012 19:26

I told my father that it's something all guys do at least once, and that he probably did too, to which he replied, "Son, I don't have enough to measure."

Anonymous - 25/07/2012 10:54 - United States - Murrieta

Today, I told my son to go clean his mess of a room. He yelled, "Dobby has no master! Dobby is a free elf!" and walked off. He turned 18 a week ago. FML

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Rochelle - 25/07/2012 06:14 - United States

Today, I took a picture of myself seductively eating an apple. I don't know what I'm doing with my life. FML

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Anonymous - 02/06/2010 18:17 - United States

Today, my wife changed her facebook status from "married" to "widowed". I'm scared. FML

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Woof

Anonymous - 03/04/2009 14:37 - United States

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend and he brushed my hair out of my eyes. Then he smiled and said, "Your eyes are two different colors right now. One's blue, one's green…" I was so happy he still noticed the little things. Then he finished his sentence with, "…ya know, like a dog." FML

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