Ermmmm

783

London, uk
33
Tuesday 14 January 1992

Ermmmm

Ermmmm -

Ermmmm

lovers5201

Marie1994

¿Qué pasta...

cj4652344

newbiemale...

MelvinG

Toonice45

TheHardBoi...

doubledutc...

crazypants...

Mons_fml

jill97

newbiemale...

MelvinG

plsdonthat...

gavdarv

ThatOneALG...

beeferjay

Ermmmm

Follow the script

ufhdafuhds - 19/03/2009 23:31 - Egypt

Today, I had sex for the first time with my boyfriend. It was his first time too. While in bed, he blankly stopped and stood up and got out a piece of paper from his pocket. Turns out he'd written instructions on what to do while in bed, and forgot what he had to do next. FML

139 451

14 513

Looking cool

Anonymous - 18/05/2014 04:48 - United States

Today, while lifeguarding, I slipped and fell from my chair and onto the cement. Embarrassed and actually quite hurt, I tried to climb back up to the chair, but it tipped. I fell half onto the cement half into the pool, just before the chair landed on top of me. FML

60 881

6 094

B_and_W - 21/11/2013 11:35 - France

Today, I watched a little girl laugh while giving bread to some pigeons at a bus stop. A bus then arrived. All the pigeons moved out of the away, except one. Its head got crushed by a wheel, and some blood splattered onto the little girl's shoes, who then screamed. With laughter. FML

533

Thanks, I hate it!

poorkids - - United States - Auburn

Today, my daughter called me telling me she had her twin girls. She named them Juli and Anne. Her name is Julianne. Her kids are going to fucking hate her. FML

38 425

4 157

Geckosrock99 - 31/08/2012 02:45 - United States - Riverbank

Today, I was playing with my vibrator. I was getting close when all of a sudden it short-circuited and made a sound like a laughing clown, scaring me half to death. FML

37 500

6 112

Geckosrock99

Geckosrock99 33

vendredi 31 août 2012 19:15

OP here. First of all, I'm nineteen. The ninety-nine in my username is just a random number. Not my birth year and not the number of geckos I have (or rather, used to have.) The vibrator wasn't running low on batteries. I had just changed them and, unfortunately for me, it was dying for good. I've had my fear of clowns since I was seven, because of that "IT" movie, so hearing that noise in the dark was pretty scary.