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Anonymous - 05/06/2011 20:45 - United States

Today, I was in the elevator with my boss when I accidentally let rip the vilest, most horrifying fart of my life as we left the first floor. We stood in silence as the elevator slowly ascended to the 21st floor, leaving us to marinate in the fumes. FML

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Red scare

Anonymous - - United States

Today, I introduced my Chinese-born girlfriend to the rest of the family. My uncle immediately blurted out, "He's dating a communist." FML

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honeybadger123 - 14/11/2011 01:11 - United States

Today, I bought weed for the first time. The dealer was an undercover cop. FML

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lundi 14 novembre 2011 21:52

yea it was purple haze

shootme - 13/11/2011 22:46 - Canada

Today, like every day, I used my phone while taking a dump. As I reached for some toilet paper to wipe myself, my sister pounded on the door for me to hurry up. I yelled "Fine," and without realizing it, wiped myself with my phone. FML

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notthatkinkyanyway - 13/11/2011 12:46 - China

Today, I'm on holiday with my boyfriend. Going through Chinese customs, an officer pulled us aside, removed a suspicious metal object from my boyfriend's luggage and called six other officers to have a look. It was a kinky pair of handcuffs. FML

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