writerchic85

1039

4679

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Wrightsville , USA
40
Monday 14 January 1985

Writerchic85

Exterminator by day, writer by night, World of Warcraft enthusiast on weekends.

Writerchic85 -

Writerchic85

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Writerchic85

Anonymous - 17/06/2013 20:07 - United States

Today, I returned home from a month long trip overseas to find that my bird sitter has trained my parrot to whisper, "You're going to die" in a sinister voice. FML

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Too late

hinting - 17/06/2013 16:43 - United States - Dearborn

Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML

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halliemarie1818 - 24/04/2013 02:01 - United States

Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML

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Hannah - 13/06/2013 16:19 - Australia - Caulfield North

Today, my boyfriend dumped me, accusing me of lying to him about "being a hermaphrodite". His almost total lack of knowledge about female anatomy led him to believe that my clitoris is actually an extremely tiny penis. FML

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notarobber - 15/05/2013 07:20 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was wearing a black shirt, black pants, and a black beanie at a grocery store. I came around a corner, bumped into a woman and she screamed, "Murderer." I was immediately thrown out. FML

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