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liveforpeace_ - 28/04/2009 06:27 - Canada

Today, I went up to a secluded mountain my boyfriend took me to for our first date. As I saw another couple hooking up in the bushes, I phoned my boyfriend to tell him someone found our secret spot. His Bob Marley ringtone started playing from the bush. FML

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ScoobieDoo - 20/03/2009 04:15 - United States

Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML

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loser - 01/03/2009 00:22 - United States

Today, my fiancée broke up with me. Via a myspace message. While we were in the same apartment. FML

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The bitch is back

thatsucks - 28/02/2009 11:10 - United Kingdom

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later, I got a text saying, "I just dropped the bitch off, I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I later asked him about it. He said, "Megan, I have no idea what you're talking about." My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

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caroline - 06/02/2009 15:29 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to orgasm, he screamed "Yes Brittany!" at the top of his lungs. My name's not Brittany. That's his sister. FML

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