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Dahotty101

Noname - 05/03/2009 19:44 - Canada

Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML

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Ariella - 29/08/2011 04:06 - Singapore

Today, I found out that I was adopted. I'm 46 years old with 11 real siblings and no one bothered to tell me until I found the documents in my dead adoptive father's house. FML

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All you need is hate

dev - 28/08/2011 06:18 - United States

Today, I was at a family reunion, but I've always hated my family. I walked up behind my husband and said, "I can't wait to go home and get it on." My husband turned around. It was my uncle, wearing the same hat as my husband's. FML

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ewww - 30/07/2011 14:07 - United States

Today, while using the restroom at McDonald's, a hand reached under my stall and took the remaining toilet paper. FML

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War drums

Taylor - 30/07/2011 05:14 - United States

Today, while having sex, my boyfriend started singing the Star Wars theme song as he entered his penis into me. FML

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