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Dad jokes

Anonymous - 10/10/2011 22:26 - United States

Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said, "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML

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only1bigdogme - 03/09/2011 05:24 - United States

Today, I tried to scare a new college friend by sneaking up behind her wearing a mask. It worked. And so did her lightning fast reflexes developed from multiple martial arts championships. My 2 cracked ribs, broken nose and bruised ballsack can now be added to her list of achievements. FML

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Goaway - 14/08/2011 11:20 - United States

Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML

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jgdgjyfg - 25/07/2011 07:21 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad taped a picture of me to the fridge with "Do not feed the she-beast" written on it. FML

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Yoda - 08/07/2011 05:23 - United States

Today, my drunk father chased me down the street with my little brother's light saber screaming, "Come back Yoda! Teach me how to use the force!" FML

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