1Dfangirl

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Monday 21 May 2001

1dfangirl

Niall horan is the only one I need

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1dfangirl

not a dick-man - 12/08/2014 17:05 - Canada - Victoria

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

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I already have one, thanks - 09/08/2014 05:59 - Australia - Mosman

Today, at the bank, some poor bastard got brutally dumped in front of everyone, prompting some total spastic behind me to cough and mockingly say "Loser!" The guy thought I'd said it, and started shoving me around and threatening to tear me a new asshole. FML

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The sounds of Spring

Ithoughtheywerenormalpeople - - United States - Houston

Today, as I awoke, the sun was shining, the birds were tweeting, and police sirens were wailing at a drug bust next door. FML

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Thoughts and prayers

Anonymous - 09/08/2014 19:29 - United Kingdom

Today, I heard my sister gagging in her room. She was doing it quietly, and I got pretty concerned, after hearing a lot about bulimia recently. I knocked, then heard a gasp, so I let myself in, only to see her on her knees and her boyfriend with his underwear around his ankles. FML

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wasteroftime - 14/08/2014 21:31 - United States - Granbury

Today, my friend started choking while at a Hard Rock Cafe. I jumped up and tried to give her the Heimlich maneuver, only for her to throw up all over the table and stagger out of the place. I stood there as the waiter asked if I wanted to split the bill. FML

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wasteroftime

wasteroftime 8

samedi 16 août 2014 2:39

OP here! Thank you all for the praise, I honestly did not think twice when I jumped up and performed the Heimlich maneuver on her. One thing I want to make clear here was not that my situation was worse than my friends, but the fact that the wait staff had no remorse about what had just happened although they stood there and watched me save her life. Learning the Heimlich can really be life saving before you know it :)