Satan - 15/03/2010 23:22 - United States Today, I lost my phone. I tried to call it using my husband's phone, but couldn't figure out which of the three Kates in the contact list was me. Turns out, two are co-workers and one is his aunt. I was listed under Satan. FML 46 426 9 190
Existential crisis ceedee - - United States Today, I was pondering the meaning of life - why I'm here, why anyone is here, why go on, and whether it's worth it… Then it hit me. The football in the head, not the meaning of life. FML 13 628 25 809
Anonymous - 26/08/2009 00:52 - Canada Today, I went for a jog. While passing by my neighbor's house, their six year old son started throwing peanuts at me screaming, "I hope this kills you!" because I'm allergic to peanuts. FML 57 726 3 660
Blown job Noname - 12/03/2009 09:30 - New Zealand Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML 63 973 339 345