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Shouldaknown - 06/08/2010 05:12 - United States

Today, I decided to watch a movie I hadn't seen before to bring my spirits up, as I've been feeling down lately. How did the movie end? Everybody died. FML

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Sex talk

Bellagirl - 19/07/2010 07:10 - United States

Today, I found out what's worse than having the "sex talk" with your parents: having the "sex talk" with your boyfriend, when he's 23, right before you were supposed to have sex. FML

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Sal - 03/03/2009 18:29 - United States

Today, I asked my girlfriend when she would give me a blowjob. She replied, "you know that won't happen, I'm a vegetarian." FML

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offbeans - 17/02/2009 02:29 - United States

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

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- 01/01/2009 05:23 - France

Today, my girlfriend has big fake boobs, but gets offended when I tell her how much I like them. FML

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