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Otherguy - 18/11/2008 07:36 - France

Today, I was at a restaurant with a girl I like, and as I was getting my wallet out, I dropped a condom. She didn't see anything, and I didn't dare pick it up in case I drew attention to the "object". The waiter walked past, picked up, and held it out to me with a huge grin. FML

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SydIsPrettyCool - 04/08/2011 05:44 - United States

Today, my pet fish died because my drunk father microwaved it. FML

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Anonymous - 30/07/2011 00:31 - United States

Today, while walking home from work, a young teenage girl ran up behind me and dumped a carton of milk on my head. She said, "The cow master baptizes you!" and then ran in the opposite direction, cackling madly. FML

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Too many JCS videos

Anonymous - - United States

Today, I discovered that when you buy ropes, duct tapes, a shovel, razor blades, a fire poker, and a carton of cigs, the police can turn up and search your house for 'prisoners'. Those items were actually coincidental. FML

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Anonymous - 30/06/2011 07:24 - Finland

Today, I introduced my first serious boyfriend to my mother over dinner. He is Asian. My mom insisted on calling him "Ching Chong". His name is Kevin. FML

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