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Anonymous - 19/02/2013 08:35

Today, while I was in the shower, my boyfriend decided to join me. We were really getting into it and he attempted to lift me up. Not only did I let out a massive fart, he slipped and fell on top of me. He won't stop laughing. FML

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Cheyennereed - 17/02/2013 15:50 - United States - Shaw A F B

Today, while on my way to the movies, I stopped at a gas station to pick up candy so I could avoid the high prices at the movies. The guy who tore my ticket asked for my purse, confiscated my candy, and then kicked me out of the movie theater. That guy was my boyfriend. FML

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Notaplacetogo - 17/02/2013 06:45 - United States - Walnut Creek

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend taking pictures of his penis in a condom. When I asked him what the hell he was doing he told me that he was making a stop-motion film called "All Dressed Up with Nowhere to go." FML

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bettercallpeta - 15/02/2013 05:42 - United States

Today, I saw my neighbor's delinquent kid shooting squirrels with a BB gun. Shocked and furious at his cruel behavior, I told him to stop, with the threat of telling his parents. He responded by shooting me in the nuts and running away in a fit of laughter. FML

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DogLover - 06/02/2013 13:59 - United States - Watertown

Today, I learned that my big, tough, strong dog is terrified of spiders when he jumped, knocked over a table, and then peed on the spider to drown it. FML

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