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Saturday 11 July 1992

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wanderer!!

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Normal

Misunderstood - 08/02/2009 05:35 - United Kingdom

Today, I got a few notes from this girl I've liked at school for about two years, telling me she feels the same way. My dad knocked on the door and I panicked and said, "Hold on!" I shoved them under my pillow, then told him to come in. He said, "Son, it's perfectly normal to masturbate." FML

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annoyedgf - 11/07/2015 12:44

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend standing at the end of the bed staring at a large wet spot. Boy do I know how to pick 'em! FML

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Take a break

Anonymous - - United States

Today, while on a cruise that I paid for, I was forced to babysit my 5 bratty nieces while my sister and her deadbeat boyfriend relaxed in the kid free zone. FML

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Emergency!

Not dying. - 21/04/2015 07:55 - United Kingdom - Watford

Today, I started getting really bad chest pains at work. I googled it and the internet convinced me I was having a heart attack. Scared for my life, I started to dial for an ambulance when I let out the biggest fart you could ever imagine. Turns out it was trapped gas. FML

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rachlette - 17/04/2015 21:47 - United States - Seattle

Today, I coughed so hard that I fractured two ribs. FML

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