Xynie

2991

Somewhere, Fireblazed
29
Thursday 18 January 1996

Xynie

ErotixxSamuari

Xynie -

Xynie

lovers5201

Masters202...

sexymomo12...

BettyTimmo...

hockeygod2...

veronica12...

mayhem95

Tiffany.

cacheson

MaltWarrio...

Jasmeet Ka...

Sue Davies

mayhem95

puckyou

Jasmeet Ka...

Toonice45

Jake42100

AyeTee77

michaelm12...

JMichael

sdlr32787

Xynie

Milking it

mperrotta913 - 21/05/2010 15:46 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job, which was great, until she started saying, "Milk the penis… Miiiiilk the penis…" FML

52 178

14 900

Awkwaaaaard

notwhatithought - 21/08/2015 19:43 - Germany - Erlangen

Today, the professor I've had a crush on informed me that there's only one way left I could still pass his course. Thinking this was an attempt to flirt with me, I told him I'd do anything he could imagine. He then looked confused when he asked me to write an essay. FML

11 252

33 755

MyBallsForSaleOnEbay - 21/08/2015 15:25 - Malta - Naxxar

Today, I screamed like a little girl and scrambled to climb atop the toilet seat when I saw a cockroach running around our bathroom. My 5-year-old nephew came in, slapped it to death and said not to be scared, because he'll always protect me. FML

27 161

7 267

fuck you btichass cuntshit - 20/08/2015 16:18 - United States - Shelburne

Today, I accidentally dropped and shattered my small bathroom mirror. My sister came to see what was going on, took one look at the shattered mirror, and said, "About time you put it out if its misery." FML

22 829

2 730

Anonymous - 11/07/2013 14:24 - United States

Today, my 13-year-old daughter and I went to a tropical themed restaurant. She wanted a strawberry Daiquiri, so I asked the waitress for a virgin strawberry Daiquiri. My daughter then said, "But dad, I'm not a virgin." FML

110 872

13 098