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Noname - 11/03/2009 00:10 - United States

Today, I bought a parakeet for my kids. When I got home and presented it to them, they wanted to let him fly around inside. We went around the house making sure all the windows and doors were shut. Unfortunately I forgot to turn off the ceiling fan. FML

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ThisBlows - 21/09/2011 17:20 - United States

Today, I caught my wife slipping penis enlargement pills into my coffee. FML

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rowie1311 - 27/03/2011 18:09 - United Kingdom

Today, I joked with my dad, saying I'd gotten my boyfriend pregnant. In response, he slapped me, threw my phone across the room, smashed my laptop, and then took a moment for what I'd said to sink in. FML

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Someone has to

Anonymous - - United States

Today, I noticed I give myself pep-talks when I'm lonely. FML

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Red faces all round

ladyhavery - - United States

Today, my hot co-worker had to use my computer, so he called me while I was at lunch for my login password. It was his name. FML

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