lonelybirthday

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America , Earth
31 years-old
Friday 22 July 1994
single

A propos de Lonelybirthday

What do you want to know about me? Favorite book? Average amount of sarcasm I use in a typical sentence? What warm beverage I enjoy most on a bone chilling January day? Feel free to ask.

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Lonelybirthday's favorite FMLs

By beerpong26 - 06/02/2009 19:54 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was about to give me a blowjob. When her lips met my penis, there was a huge static shock. I never got the blowjob, she is still laughing and I have ice on my penis. FML

agreeclassic 51 612

vote type 1 6 890

By Anonymous - 04/12/2014 19:33 - United States

Today, on a dimly lit red eye flight, I woke up to see my mom's head bobbing up and down in my dad's lap. I guess giving out stealthy blow jobs next to your sleeping son is no big deal. FML

agreeclassic 46 646

vote type 1 3 320

By mislead - 22/09/2014 16:43 - United States - Baton Rouge

Today, I found out that the neighborhood call-girl my husband and I secretly joke about is the same woman who secretly pleasures my husband for money. FML

agreeclassic 48 755

vote type 1 6 183

YouTubers must be stopped

By TuT - this FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I found my husband in the bathtub, which was filled with blood-red water, motionless and staring blankly at the ceiling. I started screaming and crying, and he burst into laughter at his "hilarious" prank. He only seemed regretful that his video camera hadn't been recording properly. FML

agreeclassic 42 615

vote type 1 4 311

Thoughts and prayers

By Anonymous - 09/08/2014 19:29 - United Kingdom

Today, I heard my sister gagging in her room. She was doing it quietly, and I got pretty concerned, after hearing a lot about bulimia recently. I knocked, then heard a gasp, so I let myself in, only to see her on her knees and her boyfriend with his underwear around his ankles. FML

agreeclassic 58 578

vote type 1 24 669