1142631

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1142631's favorite FMLs

By bob - 03/07/2012 17:33 - United States - Fairborn

Today, I woke up to a nude picture of my girlfriend. Once I looked at it my morning wood went away. FML

agreeclassic 39 035

vote type 1 9 401

By Anonymous - 08/10/2012 05:31 - United States - Pleasanton

Today, I was cooking something I knew would make a lot of smoke, so I asked my teenage daughter to tape a bag over the smoke detector. She said she did, so I cooked; the alarm went off and firemen came. She hadn't taped over the smoke detector, she'd taped it over the doorbell. FML

agreeclassic 27 454

vote type 1 4 858

America, hell yeah brother

By Anonymous - 03/10/2012 23:00 - United States - Tallahassee

Today, my teacher's comments on my essay read, "I know it's college, but you use a lot of unnecessary words with a lot of syllables." He basically scolded me for having a complex vocabulary. I go to an accredited state university. Nothing says "America" like under-achieving professors. FML

agreeclassic 28 332

vote type 1 8 345

By Anonymous - 30/09/2012 23:02 - United States - Rocky Point

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend doggy-style. I was getting close when he suddenly blurts out, "Babe, you really need to bleach your asshole." FML

agreeclassic 37 001

vote type 1 5 671

By strawberrywine22 - 28/09/2012 02:14 - United States - Torrance

Today, my husband of five years left me for a woman ten years older than himself who lives nine hours away. He met her online two weeks ago while playing Call of Duty. FML

agreeclassic 34 927

vote type 1 2 697

strawberrywine22 app_comment_confession_title

strawberrywine22 30

mercredi 10 octobre 2012 10:57

OP here :) No, I'm NOT a terrible wife. I had a situation that caused sex to be very painful for me, so we weren't doing it very much. He got frustrated, this ***** started chatting with him. I moved in with my parents, and two weeks later he ended it with her (without even meeting her in person yet) realizing that it was his sexual frustration talking. We are back together and working things out, which is easier now that I've been to the doctor and had my situation taken care of. Thanks for the sympathy, and a big FECK OFF to the haters ;)