jhilf20

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Jhilf20's favorite FMLs

School project [gone sexual]

By Cail - this FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had to give a presentation about Adolf Hitler. I wanted to point out that he was a good speaker, and could incite passion in a crowd. Instead, what came out was, "Hitler's oral skills made everyone go wild with excitement." FML

agreeclassic 41 231

vote type 1 67 643

By Numbnuts - 08/03/2010 03:08 - United States

Today, I was really bored and decided to annoy my mom while she was doing the dishes. I walked up behind her, touched her shoulder, and said "Poke". She then donkey kicks me straight in the nuts saying "Kick". I know now to never bug my mom when she's in a bad mood. FML

agreeclassic 11 383

vote type 1 38 613

Fighting talk

By bathroomblunder - 07/03/2010 02:38 - Canada

Today, I went to Starbucks to use the bathroom. After I knocked on the door and turned the handle, a little old lady ripped the door open and yelled, "I WAS TAKING A DUMP. YOU WANNA COME IN AND WIPE MY SHIT? DO YOU?!" and then continued to ask me the same question for five minutes. FML

agreeclassic 31 901

vote type 1 4 550

By pain - 26/02/2010 10:23 - Japan

Today, I found out that explosive diarrhea can happen, and at the most inopportune times, such as on the day of MY wedding. At the altar, while my husband said his vows. FML

agreeclassic 60 459

vote type 1 3 291

Tasty!

By Anonymous - 25/02/2010 16:28 - United States

Today, I was driving with my mom. She had some soda with her from earlier, and even though it was probably warm, I was thirsty. I ask for a sip, she hands it to me and says sure. And I get a mouthful of ash-and-cigarette-butt-filled soda. Apparently she didn't feel the need to mention this to me. FML

agreeclassic 31 156

vote type 1 3 697