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konens_dick - 22/03/2009 10:38 - United States

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

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Anonymous - 01/10/2010 11:48 - United States

Today, as I was leaving the office, I heard my very cute coworker behind me say "Hey gorgeous, where are you off to?" I turned around with a smile and said "About to hit up happy hour." He was on the phone with his wife. I'm calling in sick tomorrow. FML

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Highly relatable

T.S. - 30/09/2010 14:07 - Australia

Today, after a promotion at work, my new manager made me reset my password for a website we use. To do so, I had to answer the secret question I’d set two years prior. The question was "What is your favorite activity?" The answer I had to type out in front of my manager was "Drinking." FML

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Leaking

noname - 22/09/2010 05:37 - Canada

Today, I discovered that if I put my ankles on my boyfriend's shoulders while we are having sex, I will pee myself. FML

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Anonymous - 21/09/2010 22:07 - United States

Today, I found my favorite stuffed animal I had as a child in the trash bin. I took it out to find that it felt wet and smelt funny. Apparently, my younger brother cut a hole in the butt of it and used it to masturbate. FML

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