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Megan Utley

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Megan utley

Megan utley -

Megan utley -

Megan utley

lovers5201

AndreaHoff...

Megan utley

Megan utley

Wax on, wax off

Bllllaaaaaah - 24/09/2019 04:01 - United States - Juno

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on. At one point, he started to kiss my ear. Then, he stopped, went into the bathroom, and came out with about four Q-tips. He then said to me, "Just take care of your ears, then I'll continue." FML

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It's the Final Countdown

Mightytall - 11/09/2019 00:01

Today, I had a very long wait at the doctor's. The three plastic plants in the waiting area have 163 leaves each, the patient information poster on the wall has 127 words, the longest word has 19 letters. FML

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bad dad - 05/06/2019 06:00

Today, trying to be a good co-parent, I asked my ex if he’d like to go to the circus with our kids and I. His new girlfriend of a whopping five days said it made her uncomfortable. He stood us up. FML

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xoxo_retailslave420_xoxo - 21/05/2016 12:57 - Australia - Parramatta

Today, a woman threw a sandwich at me, told me to go back to "fucktard island" and demanded to see my manager. All because the mayonnaise sandwich she ordered, shockingly enough, had mayonnaise in it. FML

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Chantraine - 26/08/2018 19:30 - United Kingdom

Today, after a long day at work, I grabbed some flowers for my fiancée. As I got to my front door, I heard screaming inside. Thinking there was a burglar, I Immediately ran to where the screams were originating. My bride-to-be was screwing my best friend. FML

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