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TANT - 22/03/2009 04:53 - United States

Today, I decided to start working out because my friends said I'm scrawny and weak. I bought an expensive giant container of protein powder to take before during work outs. I wasn't strong enough to open the lid. FML

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Potterheads, man…

Anonymous - 14/04/2012 02:06 - France

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

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Stunlock

kellie1115 - - United States - Rowlesburg

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a serious conversation about our future. Somehow it turned into a 10-minute discussion about what time of day we usually take a crap. FML

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azmom - 27/03/2012 17:51 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I dropped off my 19 year old daughter at her first job. It's at a strip club. FML

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Ouch!

Anonymous - 27/03/2012 05:52 - United States - Oklahoma City

Today, I was leaning over a fence in a pasture to get a closer look at something. Nobody warned my nuts that it was an electric fence. FML

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