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lovers5201

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Wrong target

footinmouth - 21/01/2009 23:15 - United States

Today, I was hitting on a girl who was getting ready to walk into the same class as me. We were waiting outside the room, so I told her that I'd heard the professor for the course was a total bitch. We walked into the room. I sat down at a desk. She stood behind the podium. FML

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Leave people alone

Anonymous - - Mozambique

Today, I went up to a girl at a bus stop and started chatting her up. Her response? "Am I being robbed?" FML

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There's a time and a place

Hanna - 03/04/2011 17:55 - United States

Today, while driving with my step mother, she attempted to have phone sex with my dad. FML

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Anonymous - 03/04/2011 15:14 - United States

Today, while bending over to get the brownies I was making out of the oven, my husband slapped my butt. I fell into the oven. FML

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PRAISE THE LORD!

cantgetup - 03/04/2011 04:10 - Canada

Today, I discovered that my girlfriend can only orgasm when we have sex to gospel music. FML

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