123ilovejustinb

1881

226

Upper Darby, Pennsylvania, United States

123ilovejustinb

Hey I'm Morgan. I'm a Belieber and Directioner whose FML's never get posted. But if you want to hear about them you can follow me on Twitter @123ilovejustinb or you can go to my YouTube channel www.youtube.com/123ilovejustinb to watch my vlogs

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123ilovejustinb

Pissed

assgoblins piss me off - 06/05/2014 20:52 - Canada - Camrose

Today, I turned in my best painting yet for a scholarship competition. For once in my life, I was actually proud of a piece I'd done. I ended up losing the scholarship to some dickface who'd basically just glued together some crap from the dollar store and called it conceptual art. FML

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Anonymous - 23/01/2014 03:42 - Australia - Wheelers Hill

Today, I decided to dye my hair blue. The result is slightly different than I expected: my white bathroom is now blue, and so are my skin and nails. The only thing that isn't blue is my hair, which is now green. FML

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Goodyear - 20/01/2014 03:59 - United States - Glendale

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. After a while, he started staring at my lady parts, and said my "vag looks like a mockingjay". He then stretched the lips apart like wings and made little "CA-CAW CA-CAW!" sounds. FML

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Anonymous - 03/01/2014 21:50 - United Kingdom

Today, my son was playing The Sims, when I saw him remove the door to a room and set it on fire with a Sim trapped inside. I chuckled at first, until I saw that the Sim was me. Meanwhile, my wife's Sim was happily painting in the next room, not giving a crap. All too accurate, sadly. FML

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AnnoyedSister - 30/12/2013 22:28 - United States - Arlington

Today, my 12-year-old daughter glued her left eyelid shut with fake eyelash glue. After spending 4 hours in the ER, I asked her why she did it. "I wanted to get Blake to notice me," she said. Blake is our neighbor's convict son. FML

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AnnoyedSister

AnnoyedSister 7

mardi 31 décembre 2013 19:35

Hi everybody! OC here. I guess I didn't put enough details in my FML as I could: So I'll tell you all the WHOLE story. Blake is 17 years old. Yes he is a convict currently on parol. I cannot remember exactly WHAT he did, but I believe it was either Breaking and Entering or he stole a car. I'm not positively sure. Also: I could not get off the eyelash glue with warm water or make up remover because her eyelashes were going inward towards her eye and frankly, my daughter wouldn't stay still long enough for me to even try. To all the commenters who said "Keep an eye on your daughter." Nice pun. But she is twelve years old so I'm pretty sure even if I tried to pay attention she'd say something along the lines of "Go away mom!" Or "What do you want?!" So yeah. Blake also does NOT flirt with my daughter (thank goodness) and they've only met once, when they moved in. The funny thing is, he can't even get her name right. Her name is Violet, but he insists on calling her Veronica. So, no marriage plans yet! Yay!