AllieCat8147

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Alliecat8147's favorite FMLs

By Barrel - 05/02/2009 07:57 - United States

Today, my wife left me the following voicemail: “Alex, last night was amazing. You took me to places I’ve never been to before. I can’t wait to see you tonight after work.” My name is Rob. We haven’t had sex in two years. FML

agreeclassic 62 836

vote type 1 9 054

Squeeze

By ShutUp007 - this FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Saint Paul

Today, I learned that if life gives you lemons, your sister is going to squeeze them over your face while you take a nap on the couch. FML

agreeclassic 31 664

vote type 1 2 529

By disappointedjamaican - 31/08/2014 18:44 - United Kingdom - Coventry

Today, I won a gruelling fitness competition, only to find out the mystery prize was a voucher to get 10 free spray tans. I'm black. FML

agreeclassic 52 855

vote type 1 4 359

Wild Monopoly game tactics

By I hate that game - 23/11/2013 16:11 - United Kingdom - Wigan

Today, I was playing Monopoly with my boyfriend and a few friends. After I bankrupted my boyfriend, he turned to me and said, "I fucked your best friend last night, so who really won?" I turned to the best friend in question, she looked at the board and said, "I'd like to buy a house please." FML

agreeclassic 66 539

vote type 1 4 895

By satega - 10/12/2012 19:07 - United States - Smithville

Today, my family went on a family trip without me. Their reason for not bringing me? My older sister wanted extra legroom during the drive. FML

agreeclassic 32 188

vote type 1 1 945

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mardi 25 juin 2013 21:06

Op here. Figured I'd add this tidbit, the ride originally consisted of me, my mother, my sister and my mothers boyfriend. So it really wasn't s family trip at all in ether end.