schlong_man

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Schlong_man's favorite FMLs

By Anonymous - 20/08/2012 12:12 - United States - Worcester

Today, my husband had a temper tantrum because I wouldn't get him a chocolate bar at the store register. FML

agreeclassic 24 389

vote type 1 5 928

By Anonymous - 11/03/2013 23:32 - Ireland

Today, my 4-year-old daughter couldn't sleep, crying that her teddy bear wants to eat her. My husband thought it would be funny to put the bear right in front of her face while she slept. She's now terrified to sleep anywhere but in our bed. FML

agreeclassic 36 730

vote type 1 6 581

By lolo - 22/02/2013 00:16 - Israel - Ofaqim

Today, I downloaded a movie that I already own on DVD, because I was feeling too lazy to get up and fetch it from the living room. I think I've hit rock bottom. FML

agreeclassic 12 122

vote type 1 50 281

True love waits

By Acolyte of the Bacon God - 15/02/2013 19:50 - United States - Fort Myers

Today, my girlfriend finally said that she finally felt ready to have sex with me. It ended up being so terrible that I only managed to get some pleasure out of it when my mind drifted to the thought of going to Olive Garden later and eating some of their breadsticks. FML

agreeclassic 44 201

vote type 1 10 429

Help!

By spasticock - 19/08/2012 18:09 - Portugal - Barreiro

Today, I climbed the tree in my backyard so I could cut off some stray branches. I ended up getting stuck, and instead of immediately getting help, my wife started laughing and recording me. The video is now circulating on Facebook, and my new nickname is "Hawkeye." FML

agreeclassic 21 393

vote type 1 3 695