goetbasterd

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Goetbasterd's favorite FMLs

It wasn't me

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was walking through the park eating fries. There was an old woman feeding a few pigeons. They didn't seem too interested, so I threw some fries down as I walked by to try and help her out. About two minutes later, I heard screaming. A huge group of pigeons were attacking the old woman. FML

agreeclassic 57 783

vote type 1 20 105

By Jayde - 04/02/2012 05:12 - United States

Today, I received a single, hand-made Valentine's card from the weirdest kid in the school. It said, "If you ever get mauled by a bear, I hope he doesn't damage your face." FML

agreeclassic 31 258

vote type 1 5 603

By butimarealbear - 13/07/2011 13:11 - United States

Today, my mother started dating a man who insists people call him 'Panda'. FML

agreeclassic 35 704

vote type 1 3 260

By Yoda - 08/07/2011 05:23 - United States

Today, my drunk father chased me down the street with my little brother's light saber screaming, "Come back Yoda! Teach me how to use the force!" FML

agreeclassic 41 982

vote type 1 4 900

By beablue18 - 04/07/2011 00:27 - Germany

Today, my sister confessed to me that she sold some of my old shirts to the girl who's stalking me. This explains why I got a note that read, "I have your scent, now I can track you." FML

agreeclassic 46 800

vote type 1 2 996