trollfacer

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Trollfacer's favorite FMLs

By RC3Welly - 09/03/2012 22:58 - United States

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

agreeclassic 800

vote type 1 1 950

Asshat

By a hex upon your anus, sir - 25/05/2013 16:14 - United Kingdom

Today, I got on the subway with a broken leg. A kind woman stood up and offered me her seat. Before I could sit down, a guy shoved past me and took it for himself. The woman and I pointed out my cast and crutches, and asked him to give up the seat. He responded by flipping us off. FML

agreeclassic 58 378

vote type 1 3 266

Slammer

By Anonymous - 04/05/2013 01:14 - Netherlands

Today, walking by myself, I was caught up in a group of people that got arrested, and we all got fined for creating a public disturbance. When I explained I wasn't with them, the group backed me up. The police thought I was the ringleader, and now I have to go to court. FML

agreeclassic 65 319

vote type 1 3 803

Prize

By Anonymous - 03/05/2013 21:00 - Germany

Today, I overheard my boyfriend admitting that he's only dating me because having me around "sucks a bit less than fucking my own hand". FML

agreeclassic 55 818

vote type 1 5 328

By Anonymous - 03/05/2013 15:00 - United States

Today, my boss fired me for acting "inappropriately" at work. I gave him a hug. He's my dad. FML

agreeclassic 71 327

vote type 1 8 700