missalexa

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Missalexa's favorite FMLs

By bananayellowteeth - 03/05/2009 08:37 - United States

Today, I went to the dentist. After drilling my teeth for what seemed like hours, he gave me a long speech about how if I continue to smoke, the yellowing of my teeth won't be the only problem. I don't smoke. I never have. FML

agreeclassic 52 872

vote type 1 9 078

By lyssuhhhh - 26/09/2010 23:14 - United States

Today, while working at McDonald's, a woman asked me what came on a bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit. Trying not to laugh, I respond, "Bacon, egg, and cheese." She then realizes the stupidity of her question, and launches three dollars worth of quarters at my face and says, "Laugh at that, jerk." FML

agreeclassic 37 630

vote type 1 6 602

By Bailey - 22/08/2010 06:58 - United States

Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML

agreeclassic 48 787

vote type 1 14 099

About last night…

By missalexa - this FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, upon getting out of the shower, I discovered the towel I grabbed off the rack had dried poop on it. Apparently, during my sister's birthday party yesterday, we'd run out of toilet paper. FML

agreeclassic 38 146

vote type 1 4 163

By in_side_out - 14/01/2010 11:26 - Australia

Today, I received an email saying that the present I ordered for my girlfriend's birthday will be a week late, which makes it a week late for her birthday. I sat down and said we needed to talk, she burst into tears and apologised for 'sleeping with him,' I just wanted to tell her it would be late. FML

agreeclassic 50 560

vote type 1 2 891