•
•
•

excuse_remover

0

0

8

0

295

10

Roanoke
31
Thursday 31 March 1994

Excuse_remover

Excuse_remover -

Excuse_remover -

Excuse_remover

lovers5201

Excuse_remover

Excuse_remover

He's got the moves

beccav23 - 25/10/2011 16:08 - United States

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be a good idea to viciously rip off my thong. My ass crack is numb. FML

36 422

7 502

jasmith - 18/11/2012 07:45 - United States - Addison

Today, my girlfriend claimed she was a Viking because she's pale and has blond hair. She also warned me that if I piss her off she'll go 'berserk' on me. She demonstrated by smacking me in the nuts with a wooden spoon. FML

27 065

3 562

Anonymous - 18/11/2012 05:05 - United States - New Cumberland

Today, I put on a shirt that said, "Skilled in every position." My boyfriend took one look and said, "Since when?" FML

12 143

30 552

Anonymous - 25/06/2012 22:08 - Denmark - Copenhagen

Today, I foolishly told my husband that I know he's been holding back sexually, and that I was willing to indulge any sexual fantasies he may have. Now it seems that tonight, I'll be responding to the name "Fluttershy". FML

31 967

17 831

Great story, tell it again!

BrianTheLion89 - 06/06/2012 21:37 - United States

Today, I got a lecture about being lazy and not being active enough for my age, which ended with, "When I was your age, I was out every night having sex with anything that breathed." Thanks Gran. FML

31 660

3 760