•
•
•

Kelnyquist

1

0

22

17

1631

9

2920619

Kelnyquist

About me? What about you?

Kelnyquist -

Kelnyquist -

FMLbot_fml

Kelnyquist

lovers5201

sjackel29

Marie1994

thisisbuta...

newbiemale...

tiberio_fm...

RaylanGive...

Maviax

LennyComa

OlRed

bubbleblue

Magnit0

Mons_fml

OlRed

michaelm12...

Iwannarock...

stuckintim...

Kelnyquist

Kelnyquist

Amara1717 - 19/08/2009 04:22 - United States

Today, I was driving my little sister to school. She really didn't wanna go and was throwing a tantrum in the car. When we stopped at a red light, my sister notices a police man giving a ticket to another driver. She rolled down her window and screamed "Help me! I'm being kidnapped by a murderer!" FML

72 140

3 511

Mortifying

Anonymous - 15/07/2015 16:29 - United States - Katy

Today, I went downstairs early in the morning to watch a movie. As I walked into the living room and reached for the light switch, I heard my dad say, "Knew you'd change your mind. Get them off." followed by the sound of a zipper being undone. I've never been so mortified in my life. FML

37 353

2 755

SadMother - 04/10/2014 19:52 - United States - South Windsor

Today, I overheard my daughter talking to her boyfriend over the phone about having sex. She said, "You have to piss on me to get me pregnant, that's what I heard anyway." She's 16. FML

50 928

11 973

Sensitive snowflake

onepussytwopussy - 07/03/2014 19:47 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time, and I tried to be sexy by raking my nails down his back. I guess I did it a little too hard, because he shrieked in pain, leapt off me, and limped around the room cursing and whimpering. Mood ruined. FML

49 450

26 543

Anonymous - 18/01/2014 06:29 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I shut one of my breasts in my car door. FML

55 111

10 275