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Toby13

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Calgary, Canada
28
Friday 25 July 1997

Toby13

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Toby13

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Toby13

Toby13

sal - 19/08/2012 02:48 - United States - Rexburg

Today, I had to finally accept that my husband is too large for me. Normally, it'd be a bragging point, except my private parts can't handle it. After several infections brought on after vaginal tearing, I'm having to choose between being in perpetual pain, or giving up my sex life. FML

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Worried dad

Anonymous - 01/08/2012 04:17 - Canada

Today, I tried to explain to my daughter why she couldn’t have a sleepover with her boyfriend yet. She said, "If you're so worried about me having sex, then you failed as a father because I've already banged four guys." FML

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Anonymous - 02/02/2012 18:07 - India

Today, I accidentally told my mom to ejaculate the flash drive from the PC. FML

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Peckish

Bontempi - 19/07/2012 18:55 - France

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

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Tristansefam1367 - 12/03/2012 13:11 - United States

Today, I was shopping for tampons when a cute guy came over and gave me his number. He said, "Call me in 3 to 5 days." FML

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