Ewwwww - 27/05/2019 11:59 Today, while working the register, I told a kid his total was $2.15. He then took his shoe off and handed me his money. It was damp. FML 2 046 114
I'm a moron - 27/05/2019 14:03 Today, I woke up in an empty room. Thinking I'd been kidnapped, I kicked the door in. The previous night was a blur, and thought I'd been drugged. I was actually in the room my friends had put me in last night, because I went on a drunken rampage. It cost me $100 for a new door. FML 606 3 329
a816090 - 27/05/2019 18:09 Today, I got written up because I took a dump at work that lasted longer than 5 minutes, and I didn't punch out for it as a "paid break." FML 2 107 169
Bitch - 26/05/2019 00:02 Today, my boyfriend asked me if I was cheating on him. Surprised, I replied "No, Tim, of course not!" This might have been more convincing if I'd called my boyfriend by his own name, instead of the name of the guy I'm cheating on him with. FML 481 11 322
Awkward Jeff - 26/05/2019 12:30 Today, I was home alone, so for fun I put red lipstick on. A few minutes later, my doorbell rang. I managed to get it off before I got the door. I saw my neighbor, and had a long conversation with him. After which, I came inside and realized I had lipstick all over my teeth. FML 1 432 800