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Hi, bye!

Hate2Date - 05/04/2010 05:14 - United States

Today, fifteen minutes after dinner was served, my blind date said, "It's good that you're smart. Not to be rude, but most girls aren't. I mean, at some point, I'm going to pull my dick out of your mouth and then it's good if you have something interesting to say." Check please. FML

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Pile on

turtle - 12/07/2011 13:26 - United States

Today, I saw a turtle on the road so I swerved, and hit a tree. The people behind me then hit the turtle. FML

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H8TR - 26/08/2010 13:32 - United States

Today, I had to use my butthole to negotiate with my husband so I can get a new tattoo. FML

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Eyebrowsgone - 25/08/2010 13:10 - United States

Today, I decided to wax my own eyebrows with a Do It Yourself kit from the pharmacy. I'm now missing half of my right eyebrow. FML

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vstan - 25/08/2010 00:48 - United States

Today, I swerved off the road and hit a tree in order to avoid hitting a dog that came out of nowhere. Don't worry, I didn't hit him. The person behind me did, though. FML

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