oomph_fml

7292

City, Australia
31
Friday 02 June 1995

Oomph_fml

I'm not good at much, but I'm pretty sick at video games. I just come on here to read FML posts and the comments that follow. I love cats, I love every kind of cat. I just wanna hug all of them but I can't hug every cat.

Oomph_fml -

FMLbot_fml

Oomph_fml

lovers5201

thundernir...

Wonthebrea...

captain_he...

trashyant

spockadeli...

OlRed

m1i2c3h4a5...

X_Gon_Giv_...

NoWayItsRe...

dakotadavi...

Rintarok5

delichick

Oomph_fml

Axlgrows - 02/12/2016 16:44

Today, a friend admitted that the reason I got the nickname Axl is because I was an A cup with XL underwear. I guess I should be called Axxl now. FML

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Grandzilla - 09/09/2016 04:10 - France - Ablancourt

Today, I got a call from my panicking grandmother. I asked her what was going on, and she explained that, “Godzilla doesn’t work.” Not really understanding, I asked her to clarify. “Yes, you know, Godzilla, to use the internet.” FML

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_kristaaxo - 21/11/2016 09:24 - Canada - Mississauga

Today, my boyfriend turned out to be a moron. Although he loves anal porn, he says gay sex is revolting. His reasoning? Because guys poop out of their buttholes. Apparently women don't. FML

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I get around

Permafucked - 12/05/2009 14:23 - United States

Today, not wanting to be known as a lightweight anymore, I started drinking with some guy friends. After one beer, I ended up in bed with one of them, who kindly put my bra back on for me after, as I was too sloshed. I'm no longer known as lightweight, but instead, the slutty drunk. FML

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JoeyTheJedi - 18/10/2016 00:31 - United States - Batesville

Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's been a death in the family, then abruptly hangs up. I speed home, to find my mother holding the tiny corpse of a fish that she got 2 weeks ago. I got fired for being late to work. FML

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