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Mr. Shawzy - 15/01/2009 11:43 - Canada

Today, after taking a shower, I decided to weigh myself. Curious, I peered down. I couldn't see the scale. I am fat. FML

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DabTheFuckOut - 16/09/2016 19:35 - United States - Honolulu

Today, I finally said yes to a date with a guy. I was hesistant due to him being quite a bit younger than me. On our date, he dabbed 27 times. Yes, I actually kept count. FML

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Anonymous - 15/10/2015 20:44 - United Kingdom - Hampton Hill

Today, I got turned down by my dream job because their rival company happens to be called my exact name. I'm now known as "The Spy". FML

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Anonymous - 06/10/2015 11:46 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I walked in on my sister shoving her vibrating phone into her privates. Can't erase that image. FML

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itsbeenalongday - 27/09/2015 16:05 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was taking a long, relaxing, hot bath with my girlfriend after a long day. She had fallen asleep in my arms and everything was perfect - until I noticed the water around us had started turning yellow as she pissed herself in her sleep. FML

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