calipilot227

4619

San Jose, CA, USA
33
Thursday 07 January 1993

Calipilot227

I love the smell of jet fuel in the morning...

Calipilot227 -

Calipilot227

lovers5201

KathrinLor...

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Calipilot227

ZombiexIce - 10/02/2014 03:22 - United States - San Francisco

Today, something ran across my foot while I was on the toilet. Hearing me scream, my husband ran in. We now have a new "pet" mouse named Jerry that I am not allowed to kill under threat of divorce. FML

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ZombiexIce

ZombiexIce 6

lundi 10 février 2014 19:41

Hey, this is the OP. I have owned rats and mice as pets, but with a wild one you really don't want them running loose around a toddler. As for getting a cat, I have been trying to get a kitten for my son, but our landlord wants a huge deposit. We are buying a humane trap and letting him go somewhere far away. We have temporarily plugged the hole he was using to get in until payday. My husband was jokingly threatening. He is just a big softie sometimes. :) We got a good laugh out of this, before I realized it was a mouse I ran screaming out of the bathroom with my pants around my knees. Glad everyone got a laugh out of this, we did!

Anonymous - 23/07/2012 07:35 - Canada - Brampton

Today, I mowed over a bird while mowing the lawn. It wasn't dead, so I had to mow over it a second time to put it out of its misery. Now there are pieces of dead bird all over my lawn and I can't sleep. FML

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Sorry Mr Whiskers

Brody89 - 09/04/2014 18:40 - United States - Vancouver

Today, my overly-attached 14-year-old cat wanted attention while I was in a heated Skype argument with my girlfriend. Worked up from the fight, I raised my voice and said, "Not now, go away!" He ran to his little bed, had a heart attack and died. I was a complete dick to my cat in his last moments. FML

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Some friend

Anonymous - 28/12/2013 20:07 - France - Sardieu

Today, my girlfriend informed me that our relationship is an open one. This was only after I was told that when she was "stuck in traffic" two days ago, she was actually playing the triple-X version of Twister in my "best friend's" bed. FML

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SaintGoobers - 06/10/2014 20:24 - United States - Cambridge

Today, my loving five-year-old daughter started singing Christmas carols again. Ones that she made up herself, of course. Including "Walking in a fucking wonderland" and "Rudolph the red nosed asshole". FML

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SaintGoobers

SaintGoobers 19

mercredi 8 octobre 2014 14:59

Hey Buddy, this is the first time Ady has ever cussed, or at least with me viewing it. She claims that her Father was singing the songs so she thought she would sing with him. I will be talking to her dad! Lol.