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Anonymous - 14/05/2009 17:13 - United States

Today, I was home on leave and having breakfast with my parents and my younger brothers. I guess I got too used to the rougher language around the Army barracks where I'm stationed. At the breakfast table I asked my Mom to "pass me the f***ing butter". FML

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wtf - 09/06/2011 15:04 - United Kingdom

Today, I shat out a staple. FML

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torny>horny - 10/04/2011 04:42 - United States

Today, my husband tried to be romantic by throwing me in a bed laid with roses. Too bad he forgot to remove the thorns first. FML

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blehhx - 09/04/2011 05:32 - United States

Today, I found out my cat is allergic to ME. No kidding. FML

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Toothy - 02/04/2011 05:03 - United States

Today, I learned that when I leave skid marks in the toilet my wife uses my toothbrush to remove them. FML

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