mattman1994

218

4397

Chicago, United States
31
Tuesday 12 April 1994

Mattman1994

I'm Matt. I like art, football, and I play the guitar. I like to make people laugh. I'm 16, of course I'm not going to shut up

Mattman1994 -

Mattman1994

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Mattman1994

offbeans - 17/02/2009 02:29 - United States

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

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There you are

Anonymous - - Canada

Today, at an aunt's wake, my five year-old son walked up to the coffin, and, with the whole family around him, exclaimed, "Well that's good, I was wondering where she's been." FML

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Final destination

Anonymous - - United States

Today, my dad's cremated remains came in the mail. This is the first time in my entire adult life that he has visited me at my home. FML

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Embarrassed - 01/10/2010 13:06 - United States

Today, I had to sneeze really bad in a restaurant. To avoid sneezing on everybody's food, I turned my head to the side and sneezed, it just so happens a waitress was there serving a table. My nose went straight into her ass. FML

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Anonymous - 23/09/2010 16:19 - United States

Today, my chemistry professor made us all leave our classroom mid-lab because the class was complaining of the smell, and he was worried that there was a gas leak from one of the Bunsen burners. There wasn't, but it's nice to know my "silent but deadly" smelled like it might actually kill. FML

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