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shutupmichaela

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Tuesday 12 September 1995

Shutupmichaela

sadly, no, I am not Hayley Williams from Paramore.

Shutupmichaela -

Shutupmichaela -

Shutupmichaela

lovers5201

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fhlakd

pete9913

tin_cup

Envy22

rachelthel...

_Peppermin...

gary3768

Shutupmichaela

Shutupmichaela

Dude…

50sStyle - - United States - Hartland

Today, during lunch, I choked on my food and possibly came close to death when my boyfriend's best friend performed the Heimlich Maneuver on me, potentially saving my life. My boyfriend then started arguing with me over letting his best friend touch my stomach. FML

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worldsmosthonestdad - 12/05/2017 14:00

Today, I got a call from my 8-year-old's 3rd grade teacher. Apparently a question went around class asking, "Why do you think you were put on this Earth?", and my son answered, "My dad says it's because I swam the fastest." FML

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anonymous - 20/07/2015 01:23 - Canada - Kitchener

Today, for some reason entirely beyond my knowledge, Siri referred to me as "Sugartits". FML

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I guess not - 02/08/2016 13:24

Today, my boyfriend of three years asked me if I ever wanted to get married. I said yes. He said, 'But what happens if you never find a guy who likes you that much?' FML

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Shitty day - 24/05/2016 05:59 - United States - Agoura Hills

Today, while explaining to a group of kids that monkeys are very intelligent creatures, one of them flung poo in my face. FML

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