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Brampton, Ontario
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Saturday 10 September 1994

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Tom - 08/02/2019 02:00

Today, my 19-year-old daughter must not have heard me stop home for lunch. I saw her boyfriend's shoes at the door and snuck over to her bedroom door just in time to hear her angrily hiss at him "You don't think you came in me? Well WHAT'S DRIPPING OUT OF MY PUSSY THEN?". I turned and left. FML

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Lord Buttfuck IV - 29/08/2015 14:06 - France

Today, my mum took away my laptop and my phone and won't let me call, text, or go out with friends for one month. Why? I left the toilet seat up. I'm writing this from a public library. FML

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I did not see that coming

Anonymous - 23/08/2015 16:46 - United States - San Francisco

Today, at my sister's wedding, I got my 15 month-old son to 'sign' the big guest book. I gave him a pen and was hoping for a cute little squiggle or something. But no, he managed to draw something that looked uncannily like a big swastika. FML

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YourAverageFckUp - 23/08/2015 01:21 - United States - Richmond

Today, even after explaining to my boyfriend that I was self conscious about my breasts because they're slightly misshaped, he still persisted with begging me for a tit pic, saying he would still see me as beautiful. I gave in and sent one. He responded with "LOL WHAT ARE THOOOOOOSSSEE." FML

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YourAverageFckUp

YourAverageFckUp 9

mercredi 26 août 2015 1:37

OP here. First, thanks for all the support and funny comments :) no, my face wasn't in the picture. He said he did it to lighten the mood. He apologised and then surprised me by showing up at my place with flowers and chocolate to make up for it. Happy ending after all!

yooitscallo - 22/08/2015 07:30 - United States - Pekin

Today, I woke up from a dream in which my girlfriend gave birth to a litter of puppies. I can't even look at her now without getting nauseous. FML

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yooitscallo

yooitscallo 8

lundi 31 août 2015 5:34

Haha, ironically the next day my girlfriend asked me if we could get a puppy, I couldn't even explain to her as to why I nearly threw up. Lol