xWyattEarpx

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Xwyattearpx's favorite FMLs

By airport - 10/05/2009 18:49 - United States

Today, I flew to see my long distance boyfriend who I haven't seen in 6 months. Upon seeing me, he ran up to me, picked me up and swung me around like they do in the movies. In doing so, my foot hit a 4 year-old child who was running past and knocked him out. FML

agreeclassic 83 860

vote type 1 9 230

Such a sweet little boy

By no, YOU raised him - this FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Concord

Today, I asked my 5-year-old son how school went today. He sighed and said, "Fuck off, dad." I thought kids only became such colossal douchebags in their teens. FML

agreeclassic 33 741

vote type 1 6 759

It's a mystery

By ilivealoneandwhatthefuck - 23/06/2013 17:02 - Guam - Yigo

Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML

agreeclassic 65 312

vote type 1 4 342

Goddamn commies

By Frazz - 10/06/2013 05:09 - Australia - Aspley

Today, I was told by my grandfather that I was no longer allowed to visit him or to set foot in his house. Why? He found out I have been taking Japanese and German as electives in my degree, so I must be an 'enemy spy'. FML

agreeclassic 52 165

vote type 1 5 276

By Paige - 26/12/2011 06:35 - United States

Today, my parents gave me an iPhone. They then checked my grades online, and promptly took it away. FML

agreeclassic 14 207

vote type 1 52 276