booze_n_bitches

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33 years-old
Friday 20 March 1992
single

A propos de Booze_n_bitches

I'm supposed to be in a professional sort of profession, so other than my picture I shall melt into internet anonymity... I'm English, 5'10, have 7 cat t-shirts, and wear glasses. That will be all the secrets I'm telling!

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Booze_n_bitches's favorite FMLs

Rained on

By smellyhand - this FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, it looked like rain so I held out my hand to catch a raindrop. When I finally caught one, I closed my hand over it and ran to show my friends to prove it was raining. I opened my hand saying, "Look! It's raining!" When I looked down, I saw that I had actually caught a bird shit. FML

agreeclassic 12 941

vote type 1 34 473

By mackamuir - 01/04/2016 13:01 - Australia - Gold Coast

Today, my roommate played a crazy April Fool's joke on me by not paying his rent this month. Good one. FML

agreeclassic 23 972

vote type 1 1 793

By angrypetowner - 29/03/2016 03:24 - United States - Warrensburg

Today, I tried to train my cat to scratch the scratching post by giving her a treat every time she used it, but she took that as getting a treat every time she scratched something. Now, not only does she scratch all my furniture, but she also meows for a treat while doing it. FML

agreeclassic 17 329

vote type 1 4 875

By sauve dino. - 25/03/2016 03:12 - France - Groslay

Today, I explained to my five year-old son that the dinosaurs were wiped out because of a meteorite that hit our planet. He replied, "They should've stood out of the way." FML

agreeclassic 687

vote type 1 107

Quack

By Anonymous - 25/03/2016 03:14 - New Zealand - Takanini

Today, I went to the doctor's after over a week of feeling extremely tired and having headaches. His advice? "When I'm tired I drink coffee. You should drink coffee." Somehow, I don't think that was worth $60. FML

agreeclassic 20 714

vote type 1 1 594