ummm_me

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25 years-old
Thursday 13 January 2000
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Ummm_me's favorite FMLs

By maaaryy - 07/01/2009 05:53 - France

Today, I went into a shop, not really completely awake. To get to the upper floor, I took the escalator... in the wrong direction. After about 30 seconds (which seemed like hours) trying to climb up the wrong way, my brain started working and by that time I already had a few amused spectators watching me. FML

agreeclassic 20 217

vote type 1 9 423

By =( - 05/04/2014 17:48 - United States - Houston

Today, I had to tell my ex that I'm pregnant with his baby. I sent him a casual "Hey :)" text to try to ease into things. He replied, "WHO THE FUCK IS THIS?" and ended up threatening to make my life hell if I don't tell my new boyfriend that the child is his. FML

agreeclassic 46 783

vote type 1 14 439

Scary daddy

By and not even in the good way - this FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I thought it would be funny to smack my daughter's head gently with a balloon. It hit her hair clip and exploded. She won't stop crying, and my wife will be home any minute. I'm screwed. FML

agreeclassic 47 156

vote type 1 20 324

By shabowbow - 27/03/2014 18:14 - United States - Hillsboro

Today, a bee flew into my classroom and landed on my cheek. Not only am I allergic to these things, I was hit in the face with a textbook to "make sure it's dead." FML

agreeclassic 44 826

vote type 1 3 718

shabowbow app_comment_confession_title

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jeudi 27 mars 2014 23:15

Thankfully I wasn't stung, and I do appreciate on the long run them hitting me with a textbook. It could've been a lot worse than a headache.

By Anonymous - 11/03/2014 00:26 - United Kingdom

Today, I was waiting at the bus stop and noticed a girl that I played netball with. I ran across the road to meet her and she ran across the car park to meet me. We hugged and looked at each other slowly backing away as we both realised that we didn't know each other. FML

agreeclassic 51 747

vote type 1 7 460