Peeves_fml

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Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Scotland
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A propos de Peeves_fml

A poltergeist at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, since c. 993. Fond of mischief and chaos, he is a constant pain to the school and its inhabitants, especially Argus Filch, the caretaker, as the only ones able to control him are the Bloody Baron and Albus Dumbledore.

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Peeves_fml's favorite FMLs

Why would you do that?

By dammitt - 10/10/2009 06:10 - United States

Today, my best friend and I went to the movies. There was a hot cashier, so I thought it would be cool to talk in a British accent to try and be sexy. I walked up and started talking when he interrupted me and said in a very heavy British accent, "I know you're faking. You can stop now." FML

agreeclassic 9 013

vote type 1 60 658

The last laugh

By criminal tit offender - 31/08/2013 16:25 - United States - Bessemer

Today, I went skinny-dipping with my friends. At one point, I jokingly pointed out how one of them had the smallest boobs of us all. She calmly got out of the pond, dried herself, scooped up our clothes and phones, and drove off in her car. The cops she called arrived soon after. FML

agreeclassic 24 974

vote type 1 72 799

Hello, is me you're looking for?

By Anonymous - 31/08/2013 07:24 - United Kingdom - Woodford Green

Today, I moved into my new place. It evidently used to belong to a hooker, because although I've only lived here for 9 hours, so far several different men have knocked on my door and asked if "Stephanie" is available for a good time. FML

agreeclassic 50 163

vote type 1 3 165

Family dinner [gone racist]

By Thanks everyone - 28/08/2013 22:35 - Australia - Gaythorne

Today, I brought my Japanese girlfriend home for dinner with my family for the first time. They all got drunk and made heaps of racist jokes right in front of us. My dad forgot her name and started calling her "Rice Ball" instead. FML

agreeclassic 63 164

vote type 1 5 080

By notsolucky - 28/08/2013 21:47 - United States - Stamford

Today, I won a lottery at my local grocery store. Excited, I went to claim my prize, only to discover it was a bottle of red wine. I'm a recovering alcoholic. FML

agreeclassic 46 240

vote type 1 3 485