everythingelena

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Chicago baby, USA
30 years-old
Monday 24 April 1995
single

A propos de Everythingelena

born in Russia, living in Chicago. Chicago Blackhawks fan. love watching Hockey fights. traveler. expert espresso drinker Snapchat me: ElenaSnapz ?

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Everythingelena's favorite FMLs

By justplaindumb - 04/08/2016 00:48 - United States - Des Moines

Today, I walked into a wall, smashing my laptop into the top of my eye socket. This was all because I was carrying my laptop, phone and chocolate mug cake, all while trying to watch Netflix on said laptop. I feel like a 2016 cliché. FML

agreeclassic 7 038

vote type 1 16 222

By . - 05/08/2016 16:57 - Germany - Neuwied

Today, I had to hide some Oreos inside my bra to motivate my husband to get close to me. FML

agreeclassic 18 224

vote type 1 1 876

Out of it

By damn you Ambien - 03/08/2016 05:48 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I woke up to an angry and threatening email from a porn company. Apparently, I took a sleeping pill last night and wrote a nasty email to the company about how they mistreat women. The best part is that I used a web contact form instead of an email, so I have absolutely no idea what I wrote. FML

agreeclassic 13 403

vote type 1 2 810

Sexy moves

By what sex life? - 02/08/2016 06:26 - United States - Nashville

Today, while in the shower with my boyfriend, I tried to heat things up by washing his knob with my loofa. He couldn't stop laughing and eventually laughed so hard that he slipped and fell. He now has a bruised butt while I have a missing toenail from catching his fall. Ouch. FML

agreeclassic 17 315

vote type 1 2 910

By Ummm - 03/08/2016 19:45 - United States - Wheaton

Today, I was on a second date with a guy. Things got a little handsy and he pulled down his pants to reveal a micro-penis. He then smiled and asked me to be his girlfriend. FML

agreeclassic 20 217

vote type 1 2 915