Delanto

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Delanto's favorite FMLs

Kim

By madfather - 23/02/2009 01:38 - United States

Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms for my girlfriend, Kim, and I. I was in a rush and when I looked at the cashier, I realized it was her father. Nervous and hoping to reassure him, I go, "Don't worry, I'm not using these with Kim." That didn't help. FML

agreeclassic 29 147

vote type 1 72 696

By Delanto - 06/02/2014 16:54 - United States

Today, I was driving along when I noticed a kid struggling to push his car up the crest of a hill. I jumped out to help him, and he acted surprised to see me. Once we got the car over the hill, it rolled on down. I then saw that no one was actually in the driver's seat. I'd helped a vandal. FML

agreeclassic 47 426

vote type 1 8 487

Delanto app_comment_confession_title

Delanto 7

jeudi 6 février 2014 21:45

Oh, trust me...the teen wasn't the owner. He didn't even look at me after the car rolled away, he just jogged off. The car luckily jumped a curb down the road and was stopped by a tree. I did phone the sheriff's department, the deputy took my info and the description of the teen. Haven't heard anything else about it nor did I see the owner (luckily).

Mind melting

By Ashley - this FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Belmont

Today, a friend thought it would be funny to shove me over; I face-planted. I was going to say "Fuck you" and "I will kill you." It came out as "I will fuck you." He's still laughing. FML

agreeclassic 48 619

vote type 1 8 222

By Anonymous - 20/09/2013 22:52 - United States

Today, thanks to Grand Theft Auto, I found myself seriously thinking about holding up an armored bank truck when I saw it in traffic. FML

agreeclassic 21 698

vote type 1 38 595

Contacts

By Mr.no contacts - 31/03/2013 07:00 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, the people fixing my phone called to say that for some reason, my phone's SIM card has wiped all my contacts except for four, and they are doing their best to try and recover the rest. I had to explain to them that I only had four contacts to begin with. The guy laughed. FML

agreeclassic 45 633

vote type 1 5 741