iheartjustinsane

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Iheartjustinsane's favorite FMLs

Close enough

By Anonymous - 29/07/2010 18:24 - Canada

Today, a friend of mine came to my house with tears in her eyes. I thought she was finally single so I could ask her out. Actually, her mother found out she was dating a girl, so she wants me to be her fake boyfriend as a cover-up. At least we're "dating" now. FML

agreeclassic 46 086

vote type 1 7 054

By GirlishMan1883897 - 24/07/2010 10:53 - United States

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me because she said I was more of a woman than she was. I yelled out, "I HATE YOU!" and started to cry. She then took a tampon out of her purse, handed it to me, laughed, and walked away. FML

agreeclassic 21 140

vote type 1 74 762

Day terrors

By Shameonme - this FML is from back in 2008 but it's good stuff - Morocco

Today, I yelled out while I was asleep. However, I was sleeping during a very important meeting with customers and my boss. FML

agreeclassic 21 694

vote type 1 61 672

By fartingdogprego - 23/07/2010 13:18 - United States

Today, my husband left for a two-week trip. Last night he gave the dog a treat of steak fat and gristle. My treat? I am on bed rest with my pregnancy and helpless to stop the rancid dog farts that are silent and smell like a burning septic tank exploded. FML

agreeclassic 39 387

vote type 1 4 462

fartingdogprego app_comment_confession_title

fartingdogprego 0

samedi 24 juillet 2010 20:08

Thanks for those that understand! Hubby--great guy, went on this trip to get paternity leave later. Timing just sucks with bedrest (high blood pressure, just precaution, can't drive, walk the dog, clean, cook, work, etc) and a dummy move to give the dog food he's not used to. Texas is too hot to leave him outside. My mom helps in the am before work, and his mom is helping in the pm after work. Cooler with food they are making me and the laptop are making it bearable, and friends/hubby call all the time on the cell. Can get up to use the restroom as needed. Just sucks to be in bed or on the couch with a farting dog and not able to walk him and get some fresh air.

By coffee_princess - 22/07/2010 23:14 - Canada

Today, my father made his bellybutton talk. In front of my new boyfriend. FML

agreeclassic 35 962

vote type 1 4 467