Tyde_fml

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Tyde_fml's favorite FMLs

By Lawrence - 06/08/2009 04:55 - United States

Today, I was riding my bike to the local grocery store to pick up some supplies for dinner. On the way down, traveling down a hill, I hit a drain with no lid. I went to grab hold of the nearest object to soften my fall. That nearest object was a barbed wire fence. FML

agreeclassic 51 696

vote type 1 3 743

By AgentOrion - 29/08/2014 04:16 - United States - Bessemer

Today, I dreamed I was wrestling an alligator. I quickly woke up to my girlfriend yelling and me holding her in a headlock. FML

agreeclassic 42 279

vote type 1 5 928

Suspicious minds

By abusedparrot - 24/08/2014 12:40 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, the police knocked on my door, saying that they needed to investigate my house for animal abuse. Apparently the neighbours called, reporting a "screeching bird in pain". I have no bird, but I have been singing quite loudly recently. FML

agreeclassic 43 275

vote type 1 6 143

Underage boozing

By drunk under 18 teenager - 19/08/2014 13:37 - Morocco - Marrakech

Today, I was hammered, and on my way home I walked into a policeman. My logic was, if I'm on the phone, he can't talk to me, so I pulled my phone out and started speaking. The officer then asked me why I was speaking to my wallet. FML

agreeclassic 27 096

vote type 1 50 323

So, how've you been?

By Is that..? - this FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Aurora

Today, I ran into a good friend at work. I work at a jail. She doesn't. FML

agreeclassic 57 427

vote type 1 4 974