Elizabeth Burley

miss

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Pennsylvania
32 years-old
Thursday 20 May 1993
single

A propos de Elizabeth burley

Equestrian 🐴 Author 📄 Crohn's Warrior 💊 Wiccan🌙 Metal music is life 🎵 Punk/goth💀 Cat mom🐱 Hopeless romantic, engaged 10/29/22 💜 Walking Dead and Breaking Bad fan 📺 Vape queen 😙💨

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Elizabeth burley's favorite FMLs

Fleeting

By Anonymous - 12/02/2024 19:00

Today, my husband woke up with the first boner he’s had in almost 6 years. He yelled for me to join him so we could have sex again like the old days, but by the time I was finished on the toilet and raced to get to him with my pants still round my ankles, he'd gone soft. We’re only in our 30s. FML

agreeclassic 781

vote type 1 196

Occam's razor

By Anonymous - 23/05/2023 15:00

Today, I had a seizure, and as they were loading me into the ambulance, drooling on myself, I clearly heard my mother ask the ambulance crew if they’d mind swinging by the church on the way to the hospital, you know, in case it turns out I’m not sick, just possessed by the devil. FML

agreeclassic 921

vote type 1 97

Momma's gotta have it

By Anonymous - 11/04/2022 04:00

Today, after giving birth, my wife was put on the sex ban until she heals. The thing is she has a high sex drive and is now horny, cranky, while also post surgery and also breastfeeding. I try to sexually satisfy her in other ways, but she's a nightmare to be with until we can have full sex again. FML

agreeclassic 1 730

vote type 1 422

Confused kitties

By Anonymous - 23/02/2022 23:00 - United States - Steele

Today, my 9-year-old male cat has been trying to procreate with my 4-year-old female cat. Both are neutered, but every now and then, he randomly gets on top of her from behind, and bites her neck hard while she looks visibly uncomfortable. I've never heard of cats giving each other hickeys before. This isn't the first time. FML

agreeclassic 733

vote type 1 234

Double standards

By Anonymous - 02/07/2020 08:08

Today, the friend who I'm crushing on but doesn't like me like that back said she wants us to keep our distance AND got angry because I told her I joined a dating app. Now she thinks I lied about my feelings. FML

agreeclassic 1 656

vote type 1 178